A new me (:

I have been with my husband for 4 and a half years. Granted, I'm happy and everything, but let me just say I used to be a few sizes smaller than I am now. This hasn't really bothered me since I had Asher, I mean I don't even mind having stretchmarks because that child was so worth it, except the fact that he is 6 months old now and the extra weight hasn't gone anywhere. Now, I have that plus the "happy" weight I put on. With Amberleigh, I was 18 and still in high school, and I was constantly on the go (and 7 years makes a difference). By the time she was a year old, I was the smallest I've ever been as an adult: 147lbs (I'm 5'8"). I stayed that way, too, until I got my life situation straight & I met Jacob. I hate admitting this because I'm a woman & we are apparently programmed to not tell our weight, but I need to hold myself accountable.

I'm starting this change at 192lbs.

2 days ago, I started taking an over-the-counter supplement that is an appetite suppressant & energy booster (I'll tell you what it is if I see that it's gonna do wonders), I'm a terrible snacker &, if given the option, I could sit at the house all the time & pretty much be ok with it. As of 2 days ago, that's not happening anymore. I also have to tell my body that I've eaten enough because, since I had Asher, my stomach thinks it is a bottomless pit, so I started using an app on my phone to keep track of what I eat & how much I exercise. It's called "Lose It!" and I love it. When I actually see what I eat and I have to put it in my daily log, I am SO much more aware of the calories I'm taking in versus the ones I am (or am not) burning off. Now, I did good the last couple days. I've been under my calorie budget both days. And yesterday, Jacob and I got out and walked a mile and a half. (I know that's not a lot, but it was super hot and we were both getting pretty hungry since we almost skipped lunch to walk.)

Now, my goal weight is 140lbs. I've never been able to reach it, and I'd actually be ok if I got back down to 150, but why make a goal if you're just settle for less? I'm very tired of telling myself I'm gonna do this and then not following through. I feel like me being unhappy with the way I look is affecting every part of my life.

I want to be healthy for my kids.

They deserve it.

Me at 147

Me at 192