Update & Weight

Weighed in today...........
I went by my doctors office today and asked if it would be ok if I came in every week and weighed. Of course they said it would be fine. I walked back and asked to use the scale and the nurse said that's fine, so I stepped on. 187.something. What? I was 187 last week on my scale at home. How did I gain a pound? I was confused, so I asked could I see what I weighed the last time I was in, which was just a month before. 197. Well, that is terrible, but at the same time, that's awesome because I thought it was 192, which was the weight I used as my starting weight 2 weeks ago. So, instead of gaining a pound, I have lost almost 10 in the 2 weeks I've been doing this. Super! But on the down side, I started farther away from my goal :/ But it's ok because I'm going to do this!

Asher: He is trying his best to crawl! He pulls his legs up and will scoot them, but when it comes time to move his arms, he just lays down, so he is kind of doing 'the worm'. He also has learned that he can stand on the couch by pulling up on the back of it. AND he has started learning to grab and pull down everything in his reach. It's starting. I have to constantly keep both eyes on him & his hands. Is it really possible that in 3 days, he will be 7 months old????

Amberleigh: Today, she made a "zoo" in our dining room, complete with signs, stuffed animals, and a pre-paid gift shop (she gave you money and then told you prices). She has her field day at school on Friday, and she's excited for it. She & a friend won 1st place in the 3-legged race last year, and she won 1st in the bean bag toss. And then on Tuesday, she has awards day. I'm more excited about that than she is. I'm so proud of my smart little kid. Only 9 days left until Summer break! :)

Mother's Day was great :)  I did cheat on my diet with Chili's & ice cream cake. But Amberleigh made me a card at school, then she got me a card & a rose from her & Asher. We had lunch, then we went to the mall & they picked out a new charm for my charm bracelet. I love it.

Life is pretty darn good :)

Role Models (this is a rant indirectly written to certain people we know with my opinions & my opinions only)

Teenagers. I was there not very long ago. The only differences are that, now, I see certain behaviors in a different perspective as I did then, and that I have children who look up to certain teenagers and how they act, which directly effects what my kids will & will not see as acceptable behavior in the coming years.

When I look back at my teenage years, I can be proud of the fact that I never drank a drop of alcohol until I turned 21 (and even now, I don't want any). I never went to parties with alcohol & I've never touched a drug that wasn't prescribed by a doctor. But at 17, I was pregnant. I was having a baby & being forced to give up any teen years and rebellion left in me. I had engaged in something that I thought I was mature enough for and I quickly learned that I wasn't. I had never thought about it from the angle that I see it from now. I have nieces and nephews that may or may not have looked up to me & I was a pregnant high school student. Not the best role model.

Now, that's not what is bothering me so bad. I grew up and now hope to be a good role model for my kids. The thing that is bothering me is some of the teenagers that MY kids may be looking up to. I'm not going to post names or how we are associated with this people, but I am going to address some concerns in hopes that these people read this and understand where I'm coming from.

Clothes. Ladies, I understand that you are coming to the years where you want to be noticed by boys, and your body may be doing a good job of that. But is it necessary to wear shorts that barely cover your rear end? And is that shirt that cuts off just below your bra something you need to be wearing? Yes, it is going to get you attention, but is it really the right kind of attention? Maybe you are wanting the wrong kind of attention, but let me tell you this. I do not want my daughter growing up thinking that booty shorts and naked stomachs are attractive. I don't want her looking like that because it is NOT acceptable in mine or her father's eyes to wear something like that anywhere other than in a swimming pool. I want her to grow up knowing that she is attractive without those things. Now I'm not saying she will grow up wearing long baggy shirts & sweat pants. I'm saying that I would like for her to dress in clothes all the time that she could wear to church or to her grandparents house without thinking twice about it. Understand?

Underage Drinking. Do you understand that there is a legal drinking age? Do you know that it is in place for a reason? If you are in high school, you are extremely too young to be drinking. I know people my age that I deem to STILL be too immature to drink. You might think that it is cool to go out and party and get wasted and have 'fun' with your friends, but let me tell you this: I hope to God that there is not a day that my kids tell me "well it's ok because *so-in-so* did it." What are you going to do when you are at a party, things get a little out of hand, and YOU'RE the one pregnant at 17? Granted I tell Amberleigh the truth about me being too young, but it is not something I'm going to condone. It won't be one of those things where I say "Well, I can't get on to her because I did it." I know I was not the best role model.

Smoking. That is a nasty habit that causes all sorts of problems to your body. Take a nursing class or just an anatomy class & learn about that before you decide to pick one back up. But I'm not here to give a lesson. I'm here to say that I don't care for my kids to be around TEENAGERS who smell like cigarettes or are smoking in front of them. I have my mind set on this one and I hope to instill in my kids knowledge about cancer & lung disease & circulatory problems & everything that cigarettes cause. Please do not be the reason that my children pick up a nasty habit like that.

Drugs. I don't even care talking about this, but I'm sure you can guess my stance on this one too. It's illegal & that's all there is to it.


Kids (because that is what you are....kids), my children either do or will look up to you at some point, Amberleigh in particular. She is going to look at you ladies and say "I want to be just like her." Are you really someone that you want that innocent baby to look up to? I want nothing but the best for you and nothing but the best for my kids. You may put on a good front & only show your better, more mature & innocent side to my child. But what is going to happen the day that they see photos of you dressed in almost nothing with a beer in your hand? Is that really who you want to be? Is that what you want these kids to see?

Weigh-In & Zoo :)

So, as you know, I've been dieting & exercising for over a week now. I track my calories and have gotten much better about what I eat & how much of it I eat. Also, a good friend of mine and I have been doing lots of walking twice a day. We have done 5 or 6 miles each morning and then usually another 3 miles in the afternoon. I'm very sore and have had trouble getting out of bed a couple mornings, but I feel better than I have in a long time! My official start weight on May 1st was 192 pounds. Then, May 8th (one week later), I stepped back on the scale.... 187 :) That is a 5 pound loss for the week! I wish it would have been more, mainly because I am super impatient and want this weight completely gone, like, yesterday, but I'm still happy about it!

Now today, we went to the Birmingham Zoo with Amberleigh's class for their end of the year field trip. So fun! It was Asher's first zoo trip, also. (Amberleigh has been to this zoo, plus the Brookfield Zoo in Chicago.) The both had so much fun. Just going to update a few photos.

AND Asher learned to pull himself up!

A new routine! :)

Well guys, I'm finally getting myself a pretty good routine started. It rained last week and I didn't get to get out as much as I wanted, but I did start getting my body used to eating less & eating smaller healthy snacks. Potato chips and ice cream are officially off of my list and just on Amberleigh's! (We went grocery shopping yesterday and bought all sorts of good-for-you foods.) But we had a yard sale Friday and Saturday with one of my good friends, who happens to also be starting over with her new lifestyle, and she made me do jumping jacks. Let me just say I haven't done jumping jacks since gym class in high school.
Anyways, the hubby is trying to be super supportive, and even though he walks a ton at work, he still got out with me yesterday and we walked (pushing Asher in the stroller) for almost 3 miles. I also got to weat my Reeboks that I haven't worn since clinicals for nursing school. If it wouldn't have been SO HOT, we could've done more.
I also made Amberleigh a new hairbow holder last night. I'm pretty excited about it. I'm not sure if my excitement stems more from the actual cuteness of it or from the fact that we will have somewhere to contain them now. I also made her a few new bows while I was feeling crafty :)

Well, this morning, I got Amberleigh up and to school and decided I wanted to head out and get a light walk in while it was still cooler outside (not hot & not raining!). Using my "mapmyrun" app that Rita recommended, I walked 1.16 miles. When I got back to the house, Asher was still sleeping so I told Jacob I was gonna go for another lap. I grabbed my earbuds, turned on my Slacker Radio, and I ended up going another lap, plus another half mile. My light walk ended up as almost 3 miles, and let me say it felt great.
Now, although my legs may cave in, I'm going to go walk with Rita at the track around the park tonight. The track is 3/4 of a mile, so who knows how long we will go. I am just so determined to get back in shape. It has been SO long since I've felt good about myself and I hate the way I feel about myself. I weigh in tomorrow, so maybe the scale will be nice to me :)

Amberleigh has a field trip to the Birmingham Zoo on Thursday (3 days from now) and I'm SO excited for it. hoping the weather is great! It will also be Asher's first trip anywhere like this. We have taken Amberleigh to several aquariums and zoos before, but I'm ready for my little man to start having his outings with us too! I hope I get some great pictures of the two of them. But she is almost done with first grade and I can NOT believe she is this old. She only has until the 24th & then no more first grade.I REFUSE to admit that she will be a second grader!

Asher learned to wave :) You tell him 'hey' or 'bye' and he will sometimes throw his hand up and wiggle his fingers. I know soon, he's going to be the one starting second grade :/ But he is getting SO good at leaning to crawl! He will get up on his hands and knees and rock, sometimes pulling his knees farther up under himself or he will just get up on his hands and feet, like he's going to bear crawl, but he never goes forward. He is really good at going backwards, though. It's enough to let me know that he is going to be my little troublemaker. He is always into something.

Now, I must clean my house. There are floors to be vacuumed and calories to be burned! Wish me luck!

A new me (:

I have been with my husband for 4 and a half years. Granted, I'm happy and everything, but let me just say I used to be a few sizes smaller than I am now. This hasn't really bothered me since I had Asher, I mean I don't even mind having stretchmarks because that child was so worth it, except the fact that he is 6 months old now and the extra weight hasn't gone anywhere. Now, I have that plus the "happy" weight I put on. With Amberleigh, I was 18 and still in high school, and I was constantly on the go (and 7 years makes a difference). By the time she was a year old, I was the smallest I've ever been as an adult: 147lbs (I'm 5'8"). I stayed that way, too, until I got my life situation straight & I met Jacob. I hate admitting this because I'm a woman & we are apparently programmed to not tell our weight, but I need to hold myself accountable.

I'm starting this change at 192lbs.

2 days ago, I started taking an over-the-counter supplement that is an appetite suppressant & energy booster (I'll tell you what it is if I see that it's gonna do wonders), I'm a terrible snacker &, if given the option, I could sit at the house all the time & pretty much be ok with it. As of 2 days ago, that's not happening anymore. I also have to tell my body that I've eaten enough because, since I had Asher, my stomach thinks it is a bottomless pit, so I started using an app on my phone to keep track of what I eat & how much I exercise. It's called "Lose It!" and I love it. When I actually see what I eat and I have to put it in my daily log, I am SO much more aware of the calories I'm taking in versus the ones I am (or am not) burning off. Now, I did good the last couple days. I've been under my calorie budget both days. And yesterday, Jacob and I got out and walked a mile and a half. (I know that's not a lot, but it was super hot and we were both getting pretty hungry since we almost skipped lunch to walk.)

Now, my goal weight is 140lbs. I've never been able to reach it, and I'd actually be ok if I got back down to 150, but why make a goal if you're just settle for less? I'm very tired of telling myself I'm gonna do this and then not following through. I feel like me being unhappy with the way I look is affecting every part of my life.

I want to be healthy for my kids.

They deserve it.

Me at 147

Me at 192