The death of a fish & The adoption of a child

Fred & George have died.
Those are 2 of our goldfish. They were bullied in the tank, and we removed them. They died 2 days later. Very sad, since we had them the longest, but Amberleigh is ok though. We went yesterday to the pet store and picked out a couple more. We now have another orange goldfish (Daisy) and a calico (Coco) goldfish, plus a spotted pleco (Flash2). He is a very ugly thing, but super neat and very fast at the same time. He stays on the bottom most of the time, hiding. Then, when he comes out, he goes all around the outside of the tank, with his huge mouth (on his underside) stuck to the glass. They all agree with each other great so far.

Amberleigh Woods vs. Amberleigh Kirkpatrick
Amberleigh's biological father hasn't seen her in 2 and a half years. Before that, he has gone months and years without seeing her. We were looking at her birth certificate a few days ago, and she saw his name as the 'Father'. She understands way more than any 7 year old should, and Jacob has been the only dad she has every known. He stepped into that role when she was 2. Now, she knows that ---- is her real father but that her last name was never the same as his, and she understands that I was not married to him and that I had her in high school. She also understands that when someone chooses not to see her, they don't care about her. It's not like this is a new development. Even when she was smaller, she would call him and he wouldn't answer so she would leave him messages that he never returned. The last time he saw her, we had invited his daughter (Amberleigh's half sister) and his step-daughter to her birthday party. They only came because he agreed to bring them. I'm pretty sure he didn't say 2 words to her the entire time he was there. He didn't want to be there and we all knew it. Since then, he has decided that he doesn't want anything to do with her and that he just wants Jacob to adopt her. But to just put a cherry on top, he doesn't want to pay child support. He is court ordered to pay $92.31 every 2 weeks. Not even a huge amount (less than $200 a month), but I haven't even gotten that in 6 months. I don't need it, but it is more to the point of wanting him to take SOME responsibility. He's not going to, though, because he's never been made to take responsibility for things. It's a shame because he's missed out on the absolute greatest kid I know. But back to what I was saying: birth certificate. She looked at me and asked me why his name was on there because he wasn't her dad anymore. She handed me a pen, told me to mark out his name. She told me that he was NOT her father and that she didn't even care about him. Kudos to my smart child. Now, we are looking into the process of adoption. She wants to "be a Kirkpatrick" like the rest of us. Hoping to be able to update on that soon!

Asher's day
He ate pizza. Not just tasting pizza sauce. It took him an hour, but he ate an entire piece of pizza crust. Bad parenting? I don't think so. But who am I to say anything. I give him chocolate & peanut butter & drinks of coca-cola & all those bad things you aren't supposed to give a baby. He sleeps on his tummy & absolutely can NOT sleep on his back without waking up. We also hold him while he naps. When he hits his weight limit, he's changing to a forward facing carseat, regardless of his age. AND we leave him alone with his sister in the house if we have to go outside to do things. Bad parenting? Rant: over. (:

April 27th, 2011. Our story.

One year ago... Has it really been that long? I remember parts of that day so vividly, it's like it was yesterday.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011.
I woke up around 5am to the tornado sirens. I immediately turned on the tv to see what area needed to take cover. Arab. Relief washed over me, but at the same time, I had several friends that I went to nursing school with that live in Arab. I said a prayer for them all as I watched the tornado on the radar, and decided that if this was a sign of how my day was going to go, I was keeping Amberleigh home. Later that morning, I woke up to winds so strong, that we got in the closet and I thought the roof was gonna peel back. No tornado on the ground, but it was scary, just the same.
I am scared sick of tornadoes. I always have been, and I imagine I always will be. My husband was not. He takes on life with the mentality of being invincible. I was about 2 1/2 months pregnant, and against my better judgement, I was nervous & worried about everything. I was worried about my baby, I was worried about my daughter, I was worried about my husband who had to work later that day. I was even worried about our dogs who are big & outside & would definitely not fit in the closet with us. We have one closet in our house that I deem "safe enough" during bad weather, and I don't even feel all that safe in it. It is in Amberleigh's room & is full of her stuff. Other than cleaning out the closet & packing it with blankets and pillows, I was glued to the tv. I watched the radars & news stations on every channel I could find. I watched as cameras caught tornadoes moving through Huntsville & I knew my mama was at work on the arsenal. I knew Caleigh was at work in Huntsville & my husband would soon be riding with her husband to work. I knew Jacob's aunts both live in Madison & Huntsville. I knew Josh & Michelle lived in Harvest. All of these places were under warnings with tornadoes overhead or on the ground. I had Facebook pulled up and I think I added every meteorologist in North Alabama. I saw where a friend from Arab was in her grandmas house and it was hit, and that her roof on her trailer was torn off, all from the early morning tornado. I thanked God for their safety.
2pm rolled around & I dreaded it. Jacob got ready for work. I begged him almost to the point of tears to keep him home, but he just kept saying nothing would happen, he would be fine. As he & Preston were driving over the TN river, he took a picture of an ugly, eerie looking wall cloud that obviously scared the mess out of me, & I just kept telling him come home. But since he is invincible, he didn't listen. Now, mama was leaving work early. I needed her to safely get home from Huntsville, so I did what I could to tell her where bad weather was. By the airport, at I-65/I-565, then again between Priceville & Hartselle. She had to pull over several times because of hail or strong winds or rain so heavy she couldn't see to drive. By the grace of God, she made it home, but now, one of my worst fears. There was a tornado on the ground in Cullman, headed for Falkville. I got Amberleigh in the closet, made her put on her helmet, wrap up in a comforter, and get under her desk. I turned the weather on in her room, and got in the closet. I remember being scared to death, hearing the weatherman say Falkville and maybe 10 minutes? and worrying that my parents needed to be in their basement. I prayed for our safety, I prayed for the safety of everyone in Cullman, I just prayed. As the tornado changed direction, I was flooded with relief... then heard Eva. I immediately thought of our friends and family who live in or around there. My aunt, my cousins, our friends the Bakers. I prayed for them and their safety. Luckily, the tornado didn't go far enough in that direction, but what happened to Cullman and the places that were hit?
Our power went out not too long after all of that, and my car radio doesn't work due to a broken antenna. I knew that if my power was out, my parents wouldn't have power either, but at least they had radios in their cars. I piled Amberleigh up and we went the 3 blocks over to their house. We sat outside in the yard with the radio turned up in the car, and the neighbors across the street did the same. My husband works in Decatur and I had seen some radar images that were in Huntsville that were too close to him for my comfort, but you can imagine my fear when I heard "Decatur, take cover." I texted him but he didn't answer. Again, "Decatur, take cover." Can you say worried?? This was around 4pm. I finally heard from him about 4:15, and what he had to say didn't make me feel ANY better. He told me they were hit, and that the roof was on the road beside the building, that they were in a bathroom (9 people), to let Caleigh know that Preston was ok, but that he had to go. OK. They were ok. Then again I heard "Decatur, take cover." Really? I heard that at least 5 more times, I swear. The whole time, my mom was doing what she could to keep me calm. Amberleigh was in the house with her granddaddy, which was perfectly fine with me. Every once in a while, she would come outside to make sure there were no tornadoes coming towards us, then she'd go back in. I was so nervous that my nerves were gonna hurt my baby. Then I was worrying about what if this baby & Amberleigh lost their dad. I tried to keep calm, and I was flooded with relief when Jacob called me back to tell me they were coming home. He said there was another tornado, and they had to run the length of the building to get to the office, but that it changed direction and didn't hit them. I thank God for the men watching the weather at the plant that told those guys to take cover. They had enough time to where Jacob took a picture of the tornado before it hit them.

I remember I talked to Caleigh and her asking me if I saw the pictures of the building that Jacob had taken. I hadn't. She told me don't look at them because I wouldn't wanna see them, and I'm glad that I didn't look at them until after he was home. Seeing his car pull up at my parents house was the best sight I had seen in so long. I didn't know what to say to him, I was afraid I was gonna start crying and not be able to stop (it didn't help that my pregnancy hormones made me super emotional anyways). I hugged him and didn't wanna let go. He started showing us pictures of the building and it made me sick to my stomach. (These are pictures I took of the building. Some are blurry. I apologize.)

The back corner of the building where they were in the bathroom, plus the side of the building.

This is the back corner of the building, where the bathroom is that they were all in. Thank God for those walls.

The West side of the building. The back, where the wall is straight, is where the bathroom was.

Blurry, but this is looking into the middle of the building from the front.

Jacob, while he and Preston were looking at the bolts that were stretched and torn in half.

After a little while, we went to Jacob's moms house and spent some time in the candle light with his mom and sister. The drive to their house was something I will never forget. Everything was black. No lights anywhere. No traffic lights, almost no cars, no visible moon. It was almost scary. I had gotten texts & phone calls from family, asking were we ok & letting us know they were ok, but I couldn't return them because my phone service was so bad. Our power was off at the house, so we came home and sat in the car, listening to Jacob's radio, hearing reports of damage & tornadic activity that was still happening. After things started slowing down, we decided we had better just go inside and head to bed, thanking God for sparing us, our family, our friends. We got out of our car to head inside and it was so strange. On our little street in our small town, there is a street light right across from our house, and we are a short block away from the highway where there is a caution light that is always blinking red. There are normally porch lights on, including ours, lighting the houses across from our house... cars usually driving down the highway... a gas station with the lights over the pumps that you can see glowing a couple streets over. That night, there was nothing. The dogs weren't even barking. We had to use cell phones to come in the house and find candles and matches. The darkness was so still that I had trouble sleeping.
It wasn't until a couple days later that we even knew the real extent of the damage. We got power back late the next day because we live a block over from a nursing home (it took MUCH longer in some places). But getting gas was almost impossible. If you found a gas station that had power and gas, you had to wait for hours in line. We got lucky and found a gas station one night that had just opened back up and there was no line. The next morning, it was just like the rest. Full with long lines. We opted to only use one car. I had luckily gotten gas 2 days before the tornadoes hit, so I had almost a full tank.
The next Monday, we drove by and saw the plant. My heart was so heavy, I wanted to cry just looking at the building. Just seeing the parts of the building that were still standing compared to the parts that were literally torn to shreds was almost too much to take in. Then they found out their opportunities for remaining employed. Jacob opted to go to the Chicago plant to work, so in June, he left us and headed north. With opportunities to return home every other weekend & holidays, he spent 8 months working 650 miles away from us. We spent a lot of the summer there, but he also missed a lot of my pregnancy, our first wedding anniversary, stuff with Amberleigh & school, and Asher's first few months (except the 3 weeks he was home). He has been home since February and we are just getting back into a normal routine.
We didn't lose anyone or anything. Even though the college took a hit, I still graduated from Nursing school less than a month later. Amberleigh went back to a school that was thankfully still standing. But there SO many other people that were not so lucky. Hundreds of people died. People lost friends, family members, children, parents, pets..... They lost their homes, vehicles, had so much damage to repair.... I cannot think about that day without remembering that my husband and our friends could have just as easily been in another part of that building or that tornado could have been just a few hundred feet to the left, and I don't want to know what would have happened. My kids still have their dad.
We were some of the lucky ones.

I'm actually doing a second post! Yay!

Don't you just love when you start to clean, and you say "Oh, that chair would look better here..." and that leads to "Well, that desk could go there..." and that eventually leads to "Oh, man, this is a bigger mess now than it was when I started..." Well, that is my house right now. I'm trying to be the great, organized mom that I know I'm not. In reality, we use the living room floor instead of the changing table. We have fast food cups on the coffee table where we had our Sonic for supper, and the kitchen table has a computer, school papers, and all sorts of other things on it. The most organized things in here are the basket of baby toys, the computer desk I moved into here yesterday, and the bookshelf I finally organized. :)

Well Spring break has been good to us so far. My dad came by today and told Amberleigh he was going to Reeves Peach Farm to go get some strawberries. She was disappointed when she found out that she wasn't actually going to carry a basket and pick the strawberries. But it made her feel better when she got to eat yummy strawberries all day. Asher enjoyed waking up this morning and sister being home. He was SO excited when she woke up and walked into the living room. Hopefully it will warm up some before Spring break is over so we can take advantage of the 'break' part. Maybe actually learn to ride that bicycle...

On another note.. Have I mentioned yet that my kids are amazing? Asher is finally at a stage where he sits by himself and plays for longer periods of time. As Amberleigh was watching t.v. in the floor today, I sat him down by her. He sat there for a good 20 minutes without making much noise at all. What kept him entertained, you ask? A plastic chew ring, a clothes hanger, a medicine bottle with rocks in it, a toothbrush that was still in the pack, and a box of baby wipes. When he would throw them all out of his reach, Sister would slide them all back over to him & continue watching t.v., not paying him much mind. Every once in a while, he would hit her with something, or reach over and pull her hair. What does she do? Laughs, calls him silly, and doesn't complain one bit. She's just about the best big sister he could've asked for. She wants nothing more than to see him smile & learn new things.

By the way, Asher learned to clap! Yay! AND he has officially waved 'bye-bye' 3 times :) Super excited! And at the rate he's going, it won't be long AT ALL until everything needs to be at least 3 feet off the ground (yea, right). He can scoot some, and turn in a circle on his belly, and already everything he can reach ends up in the floor. 6 months old and I already have to keep such a sharp eye on him. I can no longer put him down on a blanket and be sure that he's going to stay there and only play with what I hand him. My baby man is growing up so fast in front of my eyes, it is amazing. When someone finds that pause button, PLEASE clue me in!

A couple photos from this week!

She got to wear her new dress Sunday that her Nana got her :) Gorgeous, if I do say so myself!

This is how his sister dresses him! Sooo cool :)

My Introduction! (here goes nothing...)

I'm going to be a blogger. I'm not sure how timely I will be, and I will probably be terrible and uninteresting. I just think that maybe sometime I have things to say that everyone may not want to hear, but I never know if someone is listening. This is me.

My name is Jana. I'm 25 until October. I'm a mom, a wife, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a niece, and I feel like a total mess more of the time, but I'm pretty laid back (or so I hear).

I have a husband, Jacob, who is pretty amazing. We have been married for a year and a half. He drives me insane and gets under my skin like no one else, but I love him anyways. He is a hard worker and thinks about others first. He provides for our little family and that lets me stay at home with our kids... and we have 2 pretty great ones.

Amberleigh is 7. She is a mess. A drama queen, an amazing big sister, a great student, and I wouldn't trade her for the world. She is mine from a previous relationship, but we definitely aren't going into that one. We will just say he has chosen to stay out of the picture. This is another reason Jacob is pretty great. Before long, we hope for him to adopt her. She is extremely smart and very wise for her 7 short years. She loves to cheer & dance & is interested in gymnastics. She is finally to the age where she wants to stay with her friends and have sleepovers. I made her grow up too fast, now I wish she would just slow down a little!

Asher is 6 months and 3 days old. He has completely changed our lives for the better. He is very bright. He sits up, and has been for over a month now. He tries to crawl, even if he only scoots an inch at a time, and gets into everything that his little hands can reach. He has given me many sleepless nights as well as stretchmarks and probably worry lines, but I don't mind a bit. I wanted him for a long time, and it took some convincing to get him here ;) I'm trying to keep him little, but he's not letting me!

Molly is our Chocolate Lab. She is 4 years old (we got her at 6 weeks) & the sweetest 80lb lap dog I've ever seen. 

Karma is our German Shepherd. She's almost 2 (we got her at 5 1/2 weeks) and loves nothing more than to chase a tennis ball & bark at cats.

On that note, Lily is our cat. She is extremely patient. I got her when she was 5 weeks old (Amberleigh was maybe 2?) and she was tiny tiny tiny. She is 5 years old now, had several litters of kittens, gotten fixed, and now she's fatttt :)

We recently got 2 fancy goldfish (orange fantail) from some friends of ours & Amberleigh named them Fred & George. They lived in a bowl for a while, then we got a tank (from the same friends) and bought 3 more. Pops is a black moor with big popped out eyes. Dot is white with a big red/orange bump on his/her head. The last is orange with a white belly & tail. Amberleigh named it Sparkle, and Jacob named it Flash. I call is Splash.

I graduated 11 months ago from Nursing school (I was preggers). I took my NCLEX once & failed it. Had I not been going through everything in my life that I was going through at that time (I'm not going into all of that either), I'm confident that I would have passed. Since then, I have had Asher, so I'm just now getting that extra time to study like I should. My goal is to pass before I turn 26, so feel free to hold me accountable.

We live in a small town. Everybody knows everybody. We are ok with it, we just want to be somewhere else. That is also on my list of goals. Buy a house. And a new car. And lose this baby weight. And then have a couple more ;)

Wow, are you bored yet? A peek into my life. Feel free to check back in for maybe something more interesting next time! :)